How to float a party for dummies...

Recently captain floated a party in Madurai in a la-tamil fashion. Here are some tips for the future party floaters.

Pre-requisites :
You should have enough money from the schools, colleges or hospitals that you run.You should be related to the film industry in one way or more. For atleast one year before floating the party, your work in film should strongly condemn the ruling party's mistakes and mention that they will end soon.

Choose a party name that is jumbled out of dravida, makkal, munnetra, murpokku, jananayaga, valarchi, akila indhiya, desiya, anna, mgr, (periyar, kamarajar), iyakkam, kazhagam. Try to make it hard, but make sure you dont use the same name as another party ! Explain all the words in the party name except 'dravida'. Some choices are 'Akila indiya mgr makkal valarchi dravidar iyakkam', 'Anna munnetra jananayaga dravida desiya kazhagam', 'Makkal periyar murpoku dravidar marumalarchi kootam'. Obviously you need to get those names abbreviated for the sake of simplicity and confusing others. If you are creative, you can jumble those letters and have a different abbreviation !

Your flag must have black and red stripes with a strip of the color of your underwear that you usually buy. Its good to have the same coloured towel for your shoulder. Order huge amount of dhothis for party people with this flag coloured border. This would be funded by an industrialist who would want to set up a leather, sugar or any other stinking factory near drinking water pond in a village, when you get elected.

Convene a meet in a huge ground near the place where you were born and bring people from all over. Nowadays this is done by contractors who have access to the common pool of people whose only source of income for food is by attending such meetings. Choose few very dumb people to be around you always and let them elect you as the party leader which you should accept humbly.

Now what you would really speak in the meeting isnt that tough. There are standard templates available. You should think about things that would make villagers lazy, that would make women quarrelsome, that would make government employees corrupt and that would decrease the overall efficiency of any system. You should propose such systems as benefits for villagers, women and common man.

Mention very strongly about your dislike on caste discrimination and propose ideas that would enable only the unqualified people of lower caste to make a system fail. By this method, you prevent the unqualified people of upper caste from failing a system! Never mind, if lot of well qualified people are affected. The intention is only to fail a system and uplift the lower caste. The only loophole to this technique is from the qualified people in lower caste who could set the system right. But its a compromise that you make and the risk that you take.

Talk about your tolerance towards any language and how you would like to be peaceful with all your neighbouring states if they listen to what you say. Suggest a massively huge money eating plan that is less value for more money, but insist on the little value that it provides.

Last but not least, remember all the leaders who died. Mention their name with all their titles. Display whatever photos you have taken along with them. Talk about the 'popular things' they did and mention that you will follow their footsteps to do such 'useful things'. Say things that still makes india proud (inspite of people like you)and dont forget that despite your try they continue to do their good.